femmenerd: (Default)
femmenerd ([personal profile] femmenerd) wrote2014-03-06 03:00 pm

Oh look, it's me!

Cross-posting from Dreamwidth by "popular demand." :P

Guys! I just keep on retro-fangirling! First I couldn't stop reading Trek fic, and now I've fallen down an X-files hole (again). Only this time I'm reading fanfic, and it feels kind of like wading around in fandom history, a bit. Not just what I read, but also the search methodology required with so many broken links & defunct websites only available via Wayback. Also, the archaic terminology. But it's definitely less stressful than going into a frenzy over an active fandom with wank & new canon and such.

And...I seem to be writing a vaguely meta-ish AU crossover in which Hank Moody writes the X-Files as drawerfic. (Also started some Spock/Uhura "research" themed porn, and have vague ideas for New Girl fic titled "The Sweater Curse.")

Blah blah hmmmm, here are some thoughts I spewed onto my fannish tumblr since you've heard from me last:


"I know we don’t really use the MPAA ratings for fic anymore, since there was that fluffle about a crack down some years ago (still wtf-ing about THAT) and times they are a shiftin’ and what have you.

But I was just thinking about why I find “NC17” a pretty apt descriptor for sexxy fanfic. I like it because it’s cinematic, yes, but also because the NC17 rating was invented to distinguish explicit narrative films from the rest of the porn given an “X-rating.” For example, the first studio film to receive an NC17 was Henry & June, based on the steamy yet literary memoirs of Anais Nin. And that’s the thing about smutty fanfic - we turn to it because we want to read about characters we care about fucking each other; it matters who they are & what story world they inhabit.

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I don't know why, but  it is so much more difficult for me to decide whether to list a fic on AO3 as “mature” or “explicit” than it was to choose between R & NC17 (probably because I usually just went with “adult” if there was sexing or “hard R” or “R/NC17”).

And I think I’m more concerned that I’ll round up and disappoint people looking for smuttier smut than about anyone’s delicate sensibilities.
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Just watched Austenland and I’m not entirely sure how to feel about it. But this is often the case with ANY representation of fangirls (not that there are so many compared to the ubiquitous - and yes, often semi-derogatory representation of white men as synecdoches for all of passionate nerddom), because I’m so on edge about, nervous that it’ll insulting & belittling. (I feel like my teeth are unhappily itchy every time SPN, for example, breaks the fourth wall the way that they increasingly do).

I definitely enjoyed the second half of the film more than the first, and was actually surprised by the way the circuitous romantic plotline(s) raised & then circled around & between Romance genre tropes from both Austen-style regencies, more recent historical romances, contemporaries, as well as filmic romantic comedy.

But still, I have a bit of a nagging feeling tickling the back of my brain.

(The credits sequence, however, was absolutely, undoubtedly solid gold.)

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When I suddenly remember which show/text/fandom introduced me to one of my longtime fandom friends, while simultaneously realizing that I’d forgotten in the first place - because it’s been about them instead of just that for so long now.

But the memory is still pleasantly nostalgia-inducing all the same, reminding me of my affection for fangirl & fandom both.
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And I’m getting the perplexing combo of dread & excitement as I head toward the “Great MSR Crescendo” as the Mulder/Scully shippyness ratchets right on up until everything (else) goes to hell.

I have STILL never watched Season 9, but I think I’m going to this time so I can understand the fic better. Speaking of, I’m think of making a recs list for other people like me who were fans of the show before they got into “fandom.” Or fics that are legible for people who haven’t watched the show in awhile (so no episode tags, etc.). OR, fics written during later seasons or post-series. Because I’m finding that similar to my experience entering Buffy fandom during season 6, it’s harder to get into stories that ended up getting Jossed (Cartered?).
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So it’s 2AM and I’m watching YouTube videos of Mulder & Scully smooching when I bumble across a William-themed fanvid that seriously edits in microscopic footage of SPERM. YES, wiggly black & white SPERM swimming towards Scully!uterus. Set to v. SOULFUL music.

I can’t. I mean. I just.